Ballsified. What the hell is this?
It’s a blog from an awkward guy for other awkward guys and girls.
In a nutshell: It’s about building self-esteem and clearing out the things that hold us down.
Awkwardness is not the happiest of states, and we’ll get to brass tacks with it. Topics will include breaking out of social isolation, standing your ground, befriending change … fighting lethargy, overcoming nervousness and fear, and facing the Inner Bastard. We’ll examine ways to rid ourselves of emotional baggage, build up confidence and… just embrace normality, really.
This will be fleshed out in the following posts, but the gist is this: We’ll learn to find happiness being who we are – yep, while some changes may be required, there’s no need to contort ourselves or go to extremes. We’ll take the middle road.
That does NOT mean “drive in the middle of the road”, dumbass.
As DOB so aptly puts it, “awkward people aren’t looking to be rescued (…) Why do we throw around the phrase “She really helped him break out of his shell” as if that’s a good thing? If a turtle breaks out of his shell, he will die.” This is not about turning introverts into party machines. It’s about feeling comfortable enough inside one’s shell to enjoy the outside as well.Nothing more.
How do I know what I’m talking about?
For starters, it’s the story of my life. I’ve been there and got a lot of really stupid T-shirts.
Secondly, I’m both a real live psychologist and a trained counselor, meaning I must have picked up at least a few clues of how the human mind works. (Yes, we’ll also talk about turning flaws into assets.)
Thirdly, I love every moment of doing this. That’s usually a clue someone knows what the hell he’s doing.
And that’s pretty much it. Here’s where you come in. And if you’re still reading this, it’s for you.
Because you see, this isn’t just my story, it’s the story of millions of people. I’ve come a long way from being the geeky social reject I was years ago, and I want to build a platform to share what I’ve learned and get others to join in.
For that, I need you. How can I even guess how your odyssee through life differs from mine? I’d be stuck in an endless loop of “Is it just me or…” moments.
So please participate in the polls, and please suggest topics in the comments, and also share your tales of glory/shitstorms you faced. All useful input will receive due credit.
This is bound to focus heavily on a guy’s perspective, which is why I’ll be grateful for some input from female readers.
(We’re not talking about literal balls anyway.)
I want this to carry over into the real world, lending momentum to everyone who cares even one bit about moving themselves forward. About taking charge. About fucking becoming. Screw it, let’s do it!
Take the ‘dozer for a spin, shall we?
Speaking of what I want this to be…
What it’s not
Assistance in severe psychological distress
Please note that I will not be able to tackle extremely serious or touchy subjects such as clinical depression, severe handicaps, addiction, eating disorders or major trauma. These belong in the hands of professionals, i. e., people who can help you deal with the heavy cargo without ever referring to “growing balls” or “kicking ass”.
Simplistic advice or cheap clichés
You won’t hear:“Stop whining and get a life”. Playing this down by pretending that’s all it takes ain’t helping. A change of attitude is part of it, yes, but not all.
You also won’t hear “Aw come on, you think you’re suffering? Look at people with real problems.” Never mind “This could be worse”. Instead, we’ll focus on “It’s not as bad as you think”. (Thanks go to John Cheese for pointing out the difference.)
You don’t want to read a dissertation. You want to enjoy the experience, and I want to make puerile jokes about balls.
Guaranteed to work
Not all of this may right for you. Some of it may feel widely off the mark to you because you just don’t tick that way. Try everything on for size.
Also, question everything I tell you. The Internet is full of total tools doling out idiotic advice, so bear in mind that I might be the most elaborate troll of them all…